He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
