READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
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It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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