did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I see more hoeing in ur future
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
