i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
