guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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