mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize