i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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