I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
