I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
