Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I am one with the molecules
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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