i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
