i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
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You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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