So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
