I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
