I want you more than these girls want KFC
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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