She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
