You can't motorboat a personality
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
