Pappa wants mamma naked
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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