i may or may not be watching the land before time
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
