bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
