Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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