and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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