how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No subtext here. People are naked.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
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I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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