So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
