So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
