ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
