Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
did you just send me my own nude
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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