If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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