sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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