Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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