i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My dick has a subreddit
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
