i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
