Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
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They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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