I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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