eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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