oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize