You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
