Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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