You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
