Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
