How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
