no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
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Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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