Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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