I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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