john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
