i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
