Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
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