so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
