She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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