YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I want to fling myself into the sun
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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