You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
