Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
