Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
