dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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