I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
