I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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