All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
